Baby Poo Camouflage

I have been trying really hard not to mention baby poo on this blog, because although it's a big deal in my life right now, both it's presence and absence, I know some people would be grossed out by it. If you are one of those people, don't read this post.

So, right now I am sitting at my desk in my professional job, which I have had for nearly 6 years, with baby poop on my shirt. I got Moonpie in the car this morning on time, and there was no hint that anything was amiss until... I got her out of her car seat and noticed a warm, wet sensation on her legs and back, and on my hands and arm, accompanied by a strong scent. Oh goodie. I clung her as close to me as I could and bee-lined it for my in-laws (which is up a sizable hill, by the way). My mother-in-law usually takes her from me as soon as I reach the door so I can get my shoes off comfortably, but today I alerted her that she did not want to take this baby today, as I tried to stop the poo from dripping onto the floor. Ok, it wasn't that bad, but I did have poop smeared all over my arm and shirt. My mother-in-law spread out the baby changing mat and took over while I tried to wash up and get the spots off of my shirt. Incidentally, I wore the perfect shirt for this type of thing today!

Might as well be called "Baby poo camo"

I even talked to my university's construction manager this morning about getting the plans for the new building to add to the campus map I'm working on, and she was none the wiser that I had poo on my shirt! But I did call my husband to tell him about my morning, and he suggested that I might want to go buy a new shirt just for today. Hmm...He might be right, as I'm not sure the shirt will also camouflage the odor come high noon. Oh, the sacred bliss of motherhood.

Back to Work

After writing that post title I feel like singing the dwarves' song from Snow White. "Hi hooooooo! Hi hooooooo!" My grandparents had a Disney Sing Along VHS when I was little and I LOVED it. 

Anyway...

Turkey may have some bizzarro policies, but I have to say I really appreciate their maternity leave. Between paid leave, unpaid leave and my vacation time last year, I ended up with 10 months off, half of them paid. If I have to come back to work at all, returning 9 months after giving birth feels just about right.

My school was moved to the main campus the week after I left for maternity leave, so when I came back I didn’t have a desk and all of my stuff was in a box. I had to ask where the restrooms were and had to be shown how to use the phones. My computer didn’t work and I learned that everyone was issued a new laptop while I was gone and I had to exchange my old one out for a new one that was “on the network”. In some ways it felt like starting a new job, except I already know almost all of the people.

Coming back to work after an almost 10 month “break” has been way easier than I had imagined. June 2nd was a date looming over me since I wrote my petition for unpaid maternity leave in November. How would I leave my little Moonpie? How would I spend all day with other adults? Some days I thought it would be great to go back to work, mostly the days she cried all day. But as June approached, I began to savor every little thing she did. I realized that at work no one would cry if I left the room. They probably wouldn’t even notice. And at work I would sit down and eat lunch with coworkers who are not nearly as cute as Moonpie and don’t smear banana all over their faces. I realized our afternoon walks had come to an end, and waking up whenever she did and getting dressed and showering whenever I had time were a thing of the past. So, on Sunday night I set my alarm, which wasn’t necessary because she woke me way before that anyway. I put her back to sleep, took a shower and ate breakfast, double and triple checked her three (yes, three) bags, then got her up and ready, and headed out the door. I put on some worship music in the car to maintain an atmosphere of peace for myself on the drive to my in-laws. I took her inside, sat down and chatted a while, kissed Moonpie and left her for longer than I’ve ever left her before. And she didn’t cry! And I didn’t cry! I did get a little choked up, but reminded myself that she was in great hands and I wasn’t leaving her for that long, and millions of mothers do this every day, etc. etc. And…SHE WAS FINE, of course. Didn’t cry or fuss at all, took a two hour nap and gave me a big smile when I got back. That’s my girl. I am now a working mother!

So, here I sit, in my quiet office, all alone, typing on my brand new laptop (yay!), which is sitting on a nearly empty desk. I decided I didn’t need most of my old stuff in the box anyway, so I’m going for a fresh start, because I know my desk will be full of books and papers to grade and random scribbled notes in no time!