“High Needs” Baby

(Note: I wrote this about a year ago, but never posted it. Reading it now, I think it might be helpful for some people. Moonpie is now 2 (!) and has turned into quite the sweet, smart, independent, sleeping-through-the-night, non-picky eating toddler. There is hope! Let’s see about baby #2...)

I thought this was so funny when I first read it on Dr. Sears. It sounded like a nice way to say “fussy and crying all the time.” Then, Moonpie turned out to have some pretty high needs, and I returned to Dr. Sears and read everything on hiswebsite about high needs babies. Being first time parents with a high needs baby is hard because I keep asking myself and my husband, “What am I doing wrong?” The bedtime routine we did last week doesn’t work anymore. She liked her bath yesterday but is screaming today. I’m doing everything “the books” suggest, but she’s still clinging to my leg and screaming bloody murder for much of the day. I’ve tried every combination of sleeping, feeding, nursing that I can, and she still wakes up every 2 hours at her first birthday, even after night weaning. She used to enjoy riding in her stroller, but today she’s screaming as I’m trying to walk through the mall.

I’m not writing this to get some advice. I think we’ve received every piece of advice that exists. I decided I’m going to start a list called “Things Marie is doing wrong with Moonpie”, and then I can just tell people “Add it to the list” instead of trying to defend myself:

When and how I nurse

When, where, what and how I feed solids

When and how I’m weaning

When, where and how I change diapers

What she wears

Where, when and how she sleeps

When she bathes

How I deal with night wakings

I’m writing this for other parents of high needs babies. I don’t know if it will get better, or when. I don’t know if you should nurse or formula or cry-it-out or co-sleep. I just really don’t know. That’s the point, no one but you knows, even if you think you don’t know. Whatever works for you is what you should do. I’m pretty sure none of these decisions will affect our baby’s chances of getting into MIT, although you’ll need to give me some time to get back to you on that one. And don’t worry if your high-needs baby is screaming at you and looking at you as if you have betrayed her in the worst way and emotionally abandoned her for all time when you dare to turn your attention from her to the tomato you are trying to chop. You are a great parent, and she will get over it. Now I need to print this out and post it on my kitchen cabinet.

Sewing Project for Toddler: Fabric Alphabet

I saw this project on All About Learning Press, although I modified it a bit. I used their letter templates, but since I didn't know where to find quilt batting, I just backed the fabric with felt, and I'm pretty happy with the result.

So, first I printed the letters and cut them out. Honestly, this took a few days.

Then, I tried to find fabric scraps that matched the letter sounds. Honestly, this took a few weeks, and I only matched about half the letters to appropriate fabric, but that wasn't a big deal to me.

Next, I traced the letters onto the fabric and pinned them to a 5 inch square of felt. This whole process took a couple of weeks.

Finally, I sewed along the lines of the traced letters, then cut around the shape with my pinking shears, which I'm still extremely excited about.

To be honest, I'm not finished with this final step yet. When I'm all done I'll clean up the pencil marks, either with an eraser or gentle hand wash.

Why is this project taking forever? Because I'm doing it in 15-30 minute increments after work or on weekends, preferably while Moonpie is otherwise engaged, which is, well, never. I'm not in a rush, though, because she IS still only 14 months old.

I think I might try to finish today, though, because yesterday she brought me her animal alphabet book, which I read about 15 times a day and have memorized, turned to the back page where they list the whole alphabet, pointed at "A", and said "A B D E!" She's a genius, I tell you. A genius.

English books in Turkey

I love books, but getting books in English here in Turkey is a bit of a challenge. In the US I bought a lot of used books. We do have a Kindle, but I still find it difficult to pay 10-15 bucks for an e-book. I know I can sign up to borrow books on the Kindle, but I'm such a slow reader that I would never finish the books in time. I takes me a good 6 months to read a book. Before you judge, let me say that I'm usually reading 3 books at a time. I don't know why I do this. I just do. Psychoanalyze me if you must.

As far as new books go, there's always Amazon UK or even Ebay UK, although they usually end up costing an arm and a leg because of shipping. A few bookstores here also sell new English books, but, still, the price is pretty steep. Still, it's a nice option to have. For those in Turkey, Remzi Kitabevi seems to have the best selection, and they have stores in Istanbul, Ankara and Izmir.

On to used bookstores, called "sahaf" in Turkish. There are actually used bookstores with a decent selection of English books here in Izmir, and if I'm just looking for some casual reading, that is the place I go. The books there are usually 3-5 bucks. If you live in Izmir or Ankara, here is a website that lists the used bookstores for those cities: Used bookstores

Now with Moonpie in the picture I'm thinking more about building a children's book library since she won't have access to a real library in English like I did when I was a kid. There is a library of leftover books from the old NATO library in Izmir. It's called Kent Kütüphanesi, and it's located across from the Alsancak train station. However, most of the books there are older (from the 70s and 80s). Still, it's a nice resource to have. Here's a website where you can search their catalog (it's in Turkish).

Enter resource #1 - Better World Books. This is a website that sells new and used books, usually for a slightly higher price than Amazon, but they offer free shipping to anywhere in the world. This is amazing for me. The books take a good month to arrive, but Moonpie usually isn't in a rush, so we've placed a few orders now. To me the slightly higher prices are worth not having to lug suitcases full of books around the world. And as a bonus, they are a "social enterprise", which means your purchase with them also supports literacy initiatives around the world.

And my new favorite resource #2 - Nadirkitap.com. This is a Turkish website, so if you don't live in Turkey you'll probably not be very interested. Basically, used bookstores all over Turkey have put their inventory online, and you can order through this website. There are also quite a few English books, and you can use the advanced search option to find them. Not an amazing selection, although I did find five books that I had on my wishlist. Most of the children's books were 3-5 lira, which is about 1-2 dollars, and you'll pay another 5 lira or so on shipping, so it's a pretty good deal all things considered. And again, these are books I now won't have to lug (or ask someone else to lug) from the other side of the world.

If you know of another resource for English books outside of the US or UK, please leave it in the comments! 

Picnic

The Muslim Sacrifice Holiday was at the beginning of this month, so we got a 5 day weekend and tons of family togetherness. I'm pretty impressed by how much we maximized our time. The big highlight for me was our picnic on Monday. There is a picnic grounds out by the zoo, and we had never been there, so we decided to check it out, keeping in mind that it could be a great place or fairly creepy place, but there was no way of finding out without going ourselves.

It turned out to be full of families and pretty fun, although I'm thankful we didn't have to use the "facilities" there. That may have been not so fun.

Moonpie had a great time discovering her independence with her new walking skills and exploring nature, which were mostly eucalyptus leaves and sticks on the ground.

She even made a little friend names "Asia" who came over to steal some of her toys, but ended up staying to play. They were talking back and forth in some really expressive baby language and seemed to understand each other perfectly. So, so cute. I even did a really Turkish thing and gave someone else's child a cookie. The parents didn't seem to mind since they were happily swinging in their hammock and paying us no mind at all.

After lunch we took a walk and found a grove of these trees. They are "oleaster" or silverberry, or wild olive trees, but are being cultivated as agricultural research next to this picnic grounds. They look like olives and taste kind of similar to dates, but not as good. They are common in the Mediterranean region, and through my research I learned that they are probably the trees mentioned in the Bible when Paul talks about wild olive trees in Romans 11. I still have lots to learn about Turkey!

                                     

And that was our picnic!

Raising a baby in Turkey - Part 2: Baby love

My last post about an American raising a baby in Turkey was about a diametrically opposed culture clash between Turkish and American ideas of what's best for a baby, so I thought I'd look at a more positive difference this time.

Turks love babies. I mean, pretty much almost every Turk goes gaga over every baby. It's amazing. They don't seem to lose their enthusiasm. When I go out with Moonpie I get stopped probably at least 10 times by people who just want to oodle over her. I can't just run into the grocery store "real quick" because the cashier will literally stand up, walk around the register and kneel down by Moonpie's stroller to play with her and try to get her to smile for a few minutes before checking me out. I am not even kidding, people.

Kids barely older than Moonpie come over to look at the "baby". Yeah, I don't like it when two-year-olds are touching her face, but hey. At the park last week a pair of 10-year-old twin girls wanted to slide with her down the slide and push her around the park by themselves (I said no, for the record). It's just hard to explain the universality of the baby love in Turkey. 20 year old men go crazy for babies. Moonpie's sock once fell off in an Adidas store and once one staff member realized what we were looking for we had 5 guys looking through the whole store. We couldn't find it, so we left, but then one of the guys came running out after us waving the pink sock and put it back on Moonpie's foot, all the while raving about how cute she was. True story.

We went to a restaurant with my parents and I wish I had taken a picture of the three waiters hovering around Moonpie's highchair, occasionally reaching in to give her a spoonful of food if I was otherwise occupied for a second. I think my parents were both mystified and horrified. People (friends and strangers) have given her chicken, cookies, pudding and ice cream without my permission, and a woman on the metro tried to give her a chocolate bar when she was like 5 months old. In America people would hesitate due to the possibly presence of allergies, or, I don't know, respect for the parents, maybe, or common sense? I digress.

I'm not even going to mention the over 50 female crowd. There is a word in Turkish - "Mashallah" - that basically is meant to protect the person spoken to from evil powers and such, and it's said to babies and kids (and me, not sure why, usually seems to be because I'm tall). Anyway, Turkish women say that word often and go absolutely nuts for my baby, even when they have their own grandkids. They just can't get enough. I think it's so sweet. I love it when people oodle over my baby.

The hard part about this for me is that strangers try to hold her, as in try to rip her out of my arms. Random woman at the bank, random woman in the checkout line, cleaning lady at the hospital, just people everywhere. This is the hardest part about this cultural difference. I know they aren't trying to be creepy, but it still creeps the heck out of me. I just say, "No, baby doesn't want you to hold her. She'll cry." They usually back off.

I'm not saying Americans don't love babies, but it's a different kind of love. Americans definitely don't go as crazy over strangers' kids. There's not really a concept of "stranger danger" for kids in Turkey, for better or worse. Americans admire kids from afar, with words like "cute baby" or "oh, look at the baby". There isn't a lot of reaching into the stroller, touching the face, giving of chocolate bars or grabbing out of the mother's arms going on in America. 

Sure, I feel protective about people touching her face (germs!) and giving her food, and we decided as a general rule not to let strangers hold her, but it feels great to have people making such a fuss. She looooooves the attention, too. She's such a flirt. Even at three months she was flashing her toothless grin around seeing what kind of reaction she could get. I just chalk it up as part of our multi-cultural life!

DIY Toddler Sleep Sack

This is going to seem a bit contradictory after my previous post about the struggle to keep my baby from becoming a hot, sweaty mess here in Turkey, but believe it or not, this American does try to keep her baby warm in the winter. Moonpie is now 13 months old, wearing size 24 months/2T clothing. She had a size 18 months sleep sack from last winter that I thought I could squeeze her into, but no, it wasn't working out.

So, I went back to the baby stores to find a size 2T sleep sack. The problem is that they don't seem to sell many of them. My hypothesis is that most children wearing size 2T use those handy little things called "blankets" when they sleep. Interestingly, my little Moonpie hates the things. I have tried covering her with a blanket after she falls into a deep sleep, but this child will throw off the blanket even in deep sleep, and usually wake up as well. 

As I was wondering around IKEA (my last stop, and where I get many of my good ideas), I stumbled upon a huge pile of cheapo fleece blankets, and I got an idea. Instead of buying 2 yards of fleece, which would probably also be cheapo quality, why not buy a 6 dollar IKEA blanket and sew my own sleep sack? Yes, why not indeed? So, that's what I did.

Here is the blanket. 

I laid out her old sleep sack and drew new pattern pieces on baking paper. I didn't measure, but made them a generous two inches wider and 8 inches longer than the old sleep sack.

It also didn't occur to me to take pictures until after I was done, so I don't have many process pictures. I basically cut out the pieces leaving a roughly half inch seam allowance, sewed in my zipper, then sewed it all up. 

I added the flower and reinforced the arm holes and neck hole with a baste stitch, then used my new pinking shears (which I am disproportionately excited about) to give the edges a nice finish. No need to hem fleece. I also added a flap over the top of the zipper to keep it out of Moonpie's sight since she's just discovered that she can open zippers. She can also open velcro, but she doesn't know that it's there, so don't tell her, ok?

She likes this sleep sack, and it's nice and big so she can roll all around in bed without getting stuck or cold and waking up, so I figure this 8 dollar project has bought me hours of sleep. Hooray!

Raising a baby in Turkey - Part 1: It's getting hot in here. Take off those clothes. No, really.

Turks and Americans have some different ideas about raising babies. I thought I would share some. I'm going to be using sweeping generalizations, so please note that not ALL Americans and ALL Turks may be represented in my observations.

Turks believe that being cold, slightly chilly, or even barely warm will make you ill. Touching a cold wall will make you ill. Moving air will make you ill. If you eat ice cream in any month besides July or August you will probably die. You should not walk on exposed tiles in any weather at any time. They could be harboring a temperature below 90 degrees Fahrenheit and make you ill. I've also heard that stepping on an exposed tile floor will injure a woman's reproductive health, but I don't know how widely that is accepted.

Americans, on the other hand, believe in moving air. Oh, we love it. Especially people from Phoenix. We move our air around as much as possible. We set up fans upon fans upon fans strategically placed near air conditioning vents to accelerate already moving, cold air to make it faster and colder. We hate stagnant air, closed windows, and heat in general. Just move that air, baby. We also love, love, love cold tile. It keeps us cool, after all. We don't cover it up. We don't place a barrier between it and our feet. We lie down on it and roll around on it and generally try to transfer our body heat to it and other cool things.  All of these things are considered insanity for Turks, ways to insure a quick and sudden death.

In Turkey, sweat is bad because if air moves across it, YOU MIGHT COOL DOWN! Americans (at least in Phoenix) soak ourselves in water and then sit in front of moving air, preferably cold moving air. You get the idea.

So, Turks believe that babies should be wrapped in blankets. Lots of blankets. Fleece blankets. With hats. And socks. And multiple layers of clothing. In the summer. Or winter. Doesn't matter, really. Americans believe that babies should be kept as cool as possible without being freezing cold. Americans believe that being too warm can cause health problems, contribute to SIDS and just in general be very, very bad for babies.

This clash can cause problems for the American (and British person, I've heard) raising their baby in Turkey. Both groups are trying to do what's right, but the understanding of what's right are very, very different. Thankfully, doctors in Turkey are increasingly trying to educate people on the dangers of keeping babies too warm, so I've just been able to say, "The doctor said to keep the baby cool." Thank you, doctor, for saying that.

Baby update - We have a toddler!

Nearly there!

Moonpie is a walker, people, and I don’t mean that in “The Walking Dead” sense. Although she does try to bite me, we’re working on it, and she shows many signs of not being a zombie.

She was taking a step or two for a while (a month), but I refused to call it walking since it was just a more organized way of falling into my arms. But a week before her birthday she summoned enough coordination and balance to take 4 steps across our living room rug from me to her daddy. I started screaming, but then she was trying to understand if mommy screaming was a good or bad thing, so I had to tone it down a bit. She repeated that process many times, and has increased her steps to about 7 or 8. She can also walk without an adult there to catch her at the end, so I would say she’s officially walking now! Granted, she did a face plant last night, but I figure those are inevitable in her quest for independent movement. Thankfully, I was able to convince Mr. Stitches that we didn’t need to cover all of our hard surfaces in padding after said face plant as well. I love how he wants to protect her, though. So sweet.

She’s continuing to speak fluent baby – she uses very convincing intonation, though, so people have already started asking me what she’s saying, and I’m like, “Your guess is as good as mine, but I think in this instance she is referring to Newton’s First Law of Motion, as in ‘Let’s get this stroller moving, people!’” Or something like that.

Fun at the park

Anyway, that’s what we’re up to these days. Her sleep is still royally dysfunctional, so we are quite tired, but I hesitate to mention that for fear of sounding like a broken record. She’s also hard core teething some molars, so that is probably the reason for the sleep problems. Or any other of the 1,407 reasons babies don't sleep through the night. Sigh.

Kazakh Cultural Center and a taste of Kimiz (Fermented Mare's Milk)

Some friends of ours, a German-Turkish couple, had asked us a while ago if we wanted to get together, as we do from time to time, but the past few weekends were too busy for either or both of us. Finally, last weekend we were both free, and they said they had heard of a place to check out - a Kimiz Farm. I had heard of kimiz before. It's apparently a very traditional Turkish drink that is still a big part of Kazakh culture. (All pictures taken with our new Samsung NX1000. I just want to point out that Moonpie is not blurry. You may continue.)

Some flags of places where Turks live

For people who aren't aware (as I wasn't until I got interested in all things Turkish), there is a large group of Turkic peoples in the world who live in areas stretching from China to Turkey, and most places in between, including Russia, Afghanistan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Iran, Iraq, and Syria, and some others that don't come to mind at the moment. Oh, Azerbaijan. They all speak fairly similar languages, share similar cultures, and quite of bit of ancestry. They were historically tribal nomadic people who migrated probably from somewhere around Mongolia out into a huge part of the world I just mentioned. Anyway, this is by no means a completely accurate or complete overview, I just wanted people to know why Turks would be interested in Kazakh culture.

Hello there!

Anyway, the "farm" (it's more like a cultural center) is about 1 hour from our house just outside of Kemalpasa. As soon as we got there we had to stop and show the kids the horses. They have horseback riding, but both of the little tykes were too little, and none of the adults wanted to risk crushing a pony, so we skipped that. Then we learned that they had a cultural talk in the replica traditional "otagi" basically like the traditional Mongolian ger.

Moonpie and friend

We went inside and were greeted by a Kazakh woman who immediately asked what part of Germany I was from. Um, actually, I'm not, oh nevermind. She kept stopping the talk to ask if I had understood her, which was pointless because I wasn't listening to most of it as I was trying to keep Moonpie and our friends' two-year-old from poking each other's eyes out or slamming each other's fingers in the conveniently low to the ground right at baby level windows in the "tent" (it was made out of concrete in the shape of a tent). Anyway, I did glean some information, like traditionally Turks didn't eat vegetables because they were nomads, so they got all of their nutrients from horse meat, sheep meat, yogurt and kimiz. Wow, I thought, kimiz must be awesome. My interest was building by the minute. I also learned that they burned dried dung for their fires (I did not know the Turkish word for dung until this day) and it was very important for each nuclear family to have their own tent. No sharing. I think that was a great idea on their part. Anyway, it was all pretty neat, and although I didn't understand the whole talk, I enjoyed looking at the items and decoration in the room.

Really nice motifs

On to lunch and the famous kimiz. They brought out the kimiz before the meal, and only my German friend had tasted it before. She didn't seem very enthusiastic, but I thought, wow, this must be great. If you drink this you don't have to eat vegetables.

You drink it out of little bowls instead of cups, so I poured some into my bowl. Mr. Stitches advised me to go easy. I took a sip. YOW! WOW! That stuff has pop. I could not keep a straight face for any of my sips of kimiz. That flavor really pops around your mouth, and not in a good way. My German friend's husband thought that maybe they were ripping us off and just selling us sour yogurt souped up with vinegar.

Awesome Kazakh (and Uzbek) food!

Kimiz was not a hit, but I did finish my bottle because we had paid the equivalent of 3 dollars for it. My theory was that it would go down easier with food, and I was right. The food, by contrast, was amazing. I enjoyed every single thing, and I would go back just for the food.

Moonpie found a pine cone

Here's their website which includes an informative video. Although it's in Turkish, you can see the gist of the place.

For those in Turkey and wanting to visit, it's called Kimiz Ciftligi and it's on the road between Kemalpasa and Torbali, closer to Kemalpasa. Their phone number is 0232 878 14 43.

Great camera for new parents - Samsung NX1000

We decided to get a new camera about the time Moonpie started crawling. I loved (and still do, in my heart) our Canon Powershoot, but she just got too darn squirmy for it. Almost all of my pictures of her after 7 months were blurry unless I turned on the flash, and then she had her eyes closed and was all washed out.

It captured water droplets. I thought this was pretty cool. 

We thought we wanted a starter DSLR, or what we call a "professional" camera. Lots of our friends and family have them, so we started asking around to see what people liked about them. But we mostly heard the same two things from everyone - they're hard to carry around (heavy and big) and it takes a time investment to learn how to take a nice picture with them.

Close up of Mr. Stitches's ice cream

Realistically I knew that if I added another large bag to the collection we already take when we leave the house, I would have to invest in a pack animal. I also knew that I probably wouldn't have the time or motivation to invest in a photography class. Yet we still strolled through electronics stores and checked out the DSLR cameras at every opportunity. Then one time Mr. Stitches asked the sales lady if she'd run us through the different types of cameras, and she pulled out the Samsung NX1000. I was mentally rolling my eyes thinking it was a waste of time. It didn't look much fancier than our little point and shoot. But as she started showing us what it could do, I was pretty much sold then and there.

Who doesn't love a crisp picture of a flower?

It has the option to do manual settings like the professional cameras, but it also has a "smart" auto setting, meaning the user is a dummy and needs the camera to be smarter than the user. I love this setting. Basically, it takes clear pictures of Moonpie while she's moving, so I totally love it. I also use the sports setting. It takes rapid fire pictures of moving targets, great for capturing Moonpie.

I'm sure it's not enough camera for professionals or photography enthusiasts, but if you just want clear, high quality images without a lot of fuss, I can recommend this camera 126%. It also has a wifi connection, which I haven't tried out yet, so you can transfer the pictures directly to your computer or website without the whole take-the-card-out routine. Oh, and it's pretty small and lightweight, too. When I pick up the camera case I always have to check if the camera is inside because it feels empty! We have a large-ish zoom lens on it right now, but I'm thinking of buying a thin "pancake" lens so it will fit in my purse. There are lots and lots of cameras out there, and lots and lots of blogs and websites describing them, but I just wanted to let y'all know that this one works great for us!

Moonpie’s First Birthday - Ladybugs!

We celebrated Moonpie’s first birthday one month early so my parents could be included. I wrote about her birth story here if you missed it.

I actually used my cupcake stand!

I didn’t know if I wanted a theme, but I found an actual party store in the old town shopping district of Izmir called Kemeraltı. I am convinced that you can find absolutely anything there if you just wander around long enough. They had a selection of 10 or so party themes for kids, so I chose the lady bugs. Then I bought almost every red or ladybug party decoration in the store – plates, cups, napkins, balloons, paper flowers, banners, and even a “1” cookie cutter and red fondant, which I have never used before in my life. That saleswoman was gooooooood, I’m telling you. Good. And it all cost about 20 bucks, so I felt it was worth it compared to the time I would spend trying to make my own decorations.

So my idea was to make carrot cake cupcakes, because carrots are a vegetable and I wouldn’t feel as bad giving that to Moonpie, and cupcakes are easier to make cute than a whole cake. I used the recipe from my Betty Crocker cookbook, my mom brought a cute Ladybug Cupcake Decorating Kit from America, and we were set.

Flour-dusted fondant

The fondant turned out way better than I expected. I used this recipe from Miss Marzipan for the sugar cookies. They were really, really, really good. The only flaw was that I got flour on the top of the fondant. I wasn’t sure how to roll it out otherwise, and the flour got all in the fondant, so I brushed them with water, then they were all moist. But, nobody cared about that. I had seen a ladybug stamp in a Playdough set that would have been a cute addition, but I couldn’t justify spending 9 dollars on the whole set just for the one stamp, so I passed that up in honor of my goal of decluttering.

My mom also brought a cute ladybug dress, but Moonpie doesn’t like dresses at the moment as they cramp her crawling style, so after some pictures I changed her into a red shirt and white shorts.

Happy Birthday Moonpie!

My in-laws, including SIL’s fiancé came over, so we were a party of 8 adults and the birthday girl. Just the perfect size. She got tons of cute gifts that people sent from America (thank you!), just the perfect mix of clothes and books and toys.

Moonpie liked her cupcake, but was extremely cool about it, as she is about most things. She was like, “Yeah, it’s alright. I guess I like sugar.” She ate about half.

Still playing with her new loot in her pjs.

For dinner we ordered in "pide", which is like pizza, I guess. I know I could have hand made the decorations and cooked a fabulous meal for everyone, but I was just plain tired, and I didn’t want to waste hours that could be spent with my parents stressing out in the kitchen. (If you can't tell I feel bad about not totally homemakering it up for Moonpie's birthday, because usually I would be all over that. Just the timing, I guess. And I have to keep telling myself that Moonpie really doesn't care at all, so why do I?)

The best part was that Moonpie enjoyed the party. I had read that first birthday parties can go downhill fast when the kids start melting down, but Moonpie actually didn’t have any meltdowns! That’s my girl! She seemed to really enjoy all of the attention and new toys, and was playing happily even though she stayed up past her bedtime (you may gasp here)!

How do you (or did you) celebrate your kids’ birthdays? Do you go for homemade or store bought? Large or small (or none)?

My Big Fat Turkish Birth

In honor of Moonpie's approaching 1st birthday (has it been a YEAR????), here is the story of her birth, sans (most) gory details.

Her due date was August 23^rd, or 26^th, depending on who you asked and when. I was going with the 26^th, since that was the first date we were given. I thought, “Surely she will come early. I came two weeks before my due date.” So I was all ramped up to give birth the first week of August. And the second. Third. Fourth. 

Her due date came and went. Nothing. Not even a smidgen of a contraction. I left work on August 12^th, and promptly planted myself under the A/C in our living room 24 hours a day, going between the couch and my yoga ball. My mother-in-law came to cook a meal for us the following week. She probably thought she would come once, then Moonpie would be born. Nope. She came back like 4 times. That was awesome of her. I got really into rodeo, which they were showing on daytime TV for some reason, and this cleaning contest show. My husband thought I was losing my mind. 

That bottom line shows contractions. Totally flat.

My husband’s cousin got married on August 30^th. We thought, “Oh, we’ll have a newborn then, we won’t be able to go.” We didn’t.

My husband’s aunt and uncle who came into town for the wedding came to visit us September 1^st. They joked about how they thought they would be able to visit the baby, but there I was, still pregnant. Haha.

I had started saying things like, “I’m going to be pregnant forever.” I was having a check-up every week, then twice a week. My whole pregnancy we had never caught Moonpie's face on an ultrasound. My doctor finally was able to show me her face in 3D on August 31st. You know what I said? "I don't want to see her face. I want to see her." Such a magical moment, I know. My doctor scheduled a c-section for September 4^th.

My water broke at 2AM on September 2nd. We went to the hospital at 3AM. In retrospect, I wish I had just laid down and gotten some more rest. They didn’t do anything at the hospital except confirm that my water had broken and wait for contractions to start (they didn’t). My in-laws showed up around 4AM, and just crashed on the empty hospital bed next to me. So basically it would have been better to stay at home until a decent hour. Lesson learned.

The next day was a lot of waiting for contractions to start, getting medicine to do that, contractions not starting. By the afternoon my doctor just called it – if your body still isn’t doing anything in an hour, we’re doing a c-section. I had heard you can go 24 hours after your water breaks, but my body wasn't doing ANYTHING. Nothing. 

At the time I was really upset about this. I really wanted to give birth, but it wasn’t happening, and I was getting pretty tired, so I might not have been able to anyway. I was crying. Actually, everyone was crying. Oh, did I mention that there were 9 of husband’s family members with us? Yes, yes there were.

They took me to the OR around 2:30 in the afternoon, and Moonpie was born at 3:05PM. They didn’t let my husband come (we knew that beforehand), so I was alone, and I felt really alone. I was just crying and holding on to God, and I knew He was with me. The nurse asked why I was crying, but the doctor answered for me - "She didn't want a c-section, and she wanted her husband with her. But it's going to be ok because you're going to see your baby really soon." Then they gave me something in my IV that made me throw up into my oxygen mask. I told the anesthesiologist, “I’m going to throw up.” And she said, “Don’t worry, everyone feels like that.” Then I threw up, and she was like, “Oh, she’s throwing up.” Someone helped me and cleaned my face off because my arms were velcroed down for some reason, so that was nice of them. For some reason I felt a lot better after that.

When the doctor first saw her she said, “Oh, she’s dark! You got your wish!” (I had said I wanted her to look like her daddy. She is now basically blond. My husband likes to rub this in my face.) Her first little cries were amazing. Truly amazing. I’ve never been so happy to hear any sound ever. I just said, "Thank you, Jesus." 

They brought her up to my face and I kissed her little face all over. Her eyes were open and she had a really surprised expression on her face, like she wanted to say “What the...?” I don’t have a picture, but I’ll remember it forever. Then they whisked her away, and I fell asleep while they were stitching me up.

I went back to the hospital room with 9 of my in-laws, plus my husband and daughter waiting for me. She was screaming her head off. I was euphoric. I wish I could always be that euphoric to hear her screaming. Anyway, they gave her to me and I nursed her right away. She did great – she knew what to do. And I had like 5 people telling me what to do, so that was taken care of.

My husband’s family being there was really touching. It was amazing to see all of the love that Moonpie entered into in the minutes after she was born. She was literally surrounded by people who love her. But... my husband and I both agreed that if we do this again, we will try really hard to make it a little (lot) lower key and less crowded. I'll let you know how that goes.

So, my little Moonpie is nearly 1, nearly walking, talking in her own Moonpie language, and absolutely beautiful. Happy Birthday, babe!

Beach with Baby, Take 2

Wrinkle toes

I was supremely worried about taking Moonpie to the beach back at the beginning on July when we went to Didim. We are really lucky that she is definitely a beach babe. She just loves the beach.

She loves getting in the water, sitting in the sand, letting the waves hit her. She even napped on the beach on our lounge chair.

So, I don’t have a lot of tips for making a visit to the beach with a baby easier because she already makes it pretty easy. I will say that those baby food pouches are the way to go, because sand can’t blow into them and you don’t have to mess with a lid.

Playing in her sunsuit

I also highly recommend the UV protection suits. We got one here in Turkey from Tchibo, but I had also ordered the iplay one piece sun suit. I've included an Amazon link at the end of this post. These were great for keeping the sun off of most of her, and I love that it has snaps at the bottom for easy diaper changes.









On the subject of diapers I will also say – swim diapers are only for in the water. They don’t do much out of the water. They’re not meant to be absorbent (hence their function of working in the water). They basically hold in baby poo. I found this out when I got a huge puddle on my lap on the lounge chair (not pictured).

 The villa we rented had a blow up baby pool, which was also a big hit.

                                        As were the squirt toys from Grandma. Here is Mr. Crab.

And here's the link for those interested:

Do or did you take your baby to the beach? What other tips can you offer?

Decluttering Inspiration

I’ve been really inspired to declutter this year, possibly because of the huge amount of baby paraphernalia that has entered our home. I kind of had no choice. It was get rid of stuff, or buy a bigger home, or start suspending things from the ceiling, but since we’re both quite tall, that wasn’t an option.

This website - The Simple White Rabbit - has inspired me.  I really like her goal – gradual minimalism. She basically focuses on simplifying your life slowly in little steps. She has posts that go through each room of a house, plus features minimalists in history and full length books written on the subject of minimalism and decluttering.

Empty shelves!

Six garbage bags plus a few boxes of stuff went out the door earlier this year. I couldn’t believe I had so much excess just lying around our small two bedroom apartment. Granted, I did this mainly because we brought back 4 suitcases full of stuff from our trip to America over Christmas, so it was basically a case of replacing old stuff with new.

But even if I don’t pare my wardrobe down to 30 pieces or get rid of all of my books (you may gasp here), I think minimalism is a good thing to keep in mind, and a good goal to have. It helps me when I go shopping now – is this item really going to add value to my life, or is it going to suck up my time and energy to store it, clean it, organize it, etc.

Right about now my mother is probably snort-laughing and falling off of her chair. This is because my parents are coming later this week for a visit…with three (four?) full suitcases of stuff, mostly for Moonpie, mostly stuff I ordered. She’s still so brand new that I haven’t felt the need to declutter any of her stuff yet, and it’s not out of control...yet. I can see if you got a few of these kids around how it could get pretty non-minimalist (maximalist?), though. I think back to how my brother and I completely took over our family room with Barbie houses and piles of toys. Sorry, mom.

Space in the pantry!

Anyway, the point is, I like the goal of gradually simplifying. This past weekend I decluttered my kitchen pantry. There were 2 grocery bags worth of stuff that was expired, or stuff I could combine and throw out the excess packaging, or stuff I knew we would never use at home, but could get used at work (How did we get so much instant coffee in our house?). I should have taken a "before" picture, but it is a fact that something fell out every time I opened it. I also tackled my wardrobe over the past month, and we have two empty shelves on our bookcase. This is in a home of two people who had two full bookcases when we got married!

Where are you in the process of decluttering? Having trouble starting? Going gradual like me? Or are you slash and burn, get it all out at once?

Ramadan in Turkey and Baby Sleep

I haven’t had much else on my mind lately besides sleep. I want some. I want Moonpie to have some more, and not in the “so I can watch a movie and put my feet up” sense. I really think her mood and possibly health are suffering due to a lack of sleep. Mine definitely are. In a major, major way. I’m not complaining about Moonpie. I know she’s not deliberately plotting ways to make me lose my mind (although that did cross my mind the other night at 2:37AM). She just needs a little more help to fall asleep and stay asleep, and I’m not sure what that help should be, because nothing I’ve tried seems to be actually helping her.

Got this image from http://www.emirdagcity.com
They usually aren't this cute, though.

And then we have the delightful tradition of the Ramadan drummer – we are now in the month of Ramadan in Turkey (and everywhere else, actually), and here there is a tradition of having someone walk through the streets banging a drum to wake people up in time to eat before the sun rises, since people are theoretically fasting during daylight hours. Ramadan is a month in the Islamic calendar, which is lunar, so Ramadan rotates through the entire calendar year. This year it’s smack in the middle of summer, which means people who are fasting are fasting for 16 hours or so on the hottest days of the year with no water. It also means that the drummer comes around at 2:30AM. Sometimes Moonpie is already awake at that time, but sometimes...she's not. And then she is. And I get stark raving mad angry at those drummers.

I understand why they have the drummer, (here is a nice video on BBC and here is an article) and I usually think it’s nice when people hold onto their traditions, but I have to admit I would like to see this one tradition go. My in-laws, who do fast, also think that having the drummer is ridiculous. They just set their alarm clocks J I’m just an outsider looking in on all of this, so I can’t make a full commentary. I just know that I want my baby to sleep, and I don’t want someone banging on a drum at 2:30AM!

Baby Poo Camouflage

I have been trying really hard not to mention baby poo on this blog, because although it's a big deal in my life right now, both it's presence and absence, I know some people would be grossed out by it. If you are one of those people, don't read this post.

So, right now I am sitting at my desk in my professional job, which I have had for nearly 6 years, with baby poop on my shirt. I got Moonpie in the car this morning on time, and there was no hint that anything was amiss until... I got her out of her car seat and noticed a warm, wet sensation on her legs and back, and on my hands and arm, accompanied by a strong scent. Oh goodie. I clung her as close to me as I could and bee-lined it for my in-laws (which is up a sizable hill, by the way). My mother-in-law usually takes her from me as soon as I reach the door so I can get my shoes off comfortably, but today I alerted her that she did not want to take this baby today, as I tried to stop the poo from dripping onto the floor. Ok, it wasn't that bad, but I did have poop smeared all over my arm and shirt. My mother-in-law spread out the baby changing mat and took over while I tried to wash up and get the spots off of my shirt. Incidentally, I wore the perfect shirt for this type of thing today!

Might as well be called "Baby poo camo"

I even talked to my university's construction manager this morning about getting the plans for the new building to add to the campus map I'm working on, and she was none the wiser that I had poo on my shirt! But I did call my husband to tell him about my morning, and he suggested that I might want to go buy a new shirt just for today. Hmm...He might be right, as I'm not sure the shirt will also camouflage the odor come high noon. Oh, the sacred bliss of motherhood.

Beach Weekend with Baby in Didim

This past weekend we went to Didim, a beach town on the Aegean Coast of Turkey. I was extremely worried that it would be a disaster. But, I didn't want to be a person who drags her feet reluctantly to a weekend at an all-inclusive hotel on the beach, so I decided we would just go with the flow and hopefully Moonpie wouldn't cry the whole time. And...it was great! It was amazing! Moonpie loved the beach, and that made me love the beach even more. My wonderful husband took her back to the room for her nap so I could stay on the beach...get this...by myself! I...get this...read a book! It was just what I needed to get back some perspective and recharge my batteries. I hadn't realized how much two weeks of very little sleep had affected my ability to cope with, well, anything. I now feel great and recharged and ready to take on Moonpie's sleep challenges with more patience and grace!

Here are some scenes from the trip:

Moonpie chillin' and checkin' out the scenery on the drive there.

Turkish countryside

View from our balcony

"What's this Mommy? Does it taste good? No, it does not."

Beach!

I love this view.

Baby feet in the sand!

On the drive home