Monday, May 26, 2014

Cross-cultural Marriage Series Part 1: Throwing our differences in the culture pile

When you have the extra layer of cultural difference in your marriage, it can be a great reason to give each other the benefit of the doubt that the difference (i.e. weirdness) you encounter is because of a cultural difference and not just because the other person is just weird. I suspect that some places where we differ might possibly be a matter of personal quirks, but since we have the cultural difference, if it doesn’t really matter we just throw it in that pile. Problem solved.

These are some examples of actual conversations:

You can't tell, but this is milk.

Me: “Do you want some milk with your cookies?”
Him: “No, of course not. I’m frying fish tonight.”
Me: *blink*
Him: “You shouldn’t have any either.”

Me: “Do you want some tea?”
Him: “Yeah, we’ll have tea.”
Me: “Now?”
Him: “Now?”
Me: “Now.”
Him: “But we’re eating dessert.”

Me: “Do you want some ice cream on your brownie?”
Him: “It’s winter.”
Me: “Yes. So, ice cream or plain?”
Him: “It’s winter.”

Me: “It’s soooooo hot. I’m turning on the a/c.”
Him: “Can you hand me a blanket?”
Me: “Aren’t you hot?”
Him: “Yes.”
Wouldn't only two pillows look boring?

Him: “Why do we have 6 pillows on our bed? I don’t use any.”
Me: “Well, I use two.”
Him: “So why six?”
Me: “It just looks nice.”
Him: “Who’s looking at our bed besides us?”
Me: “No one.”
Him. “Right, no one.”

Him: “Why do you use rags to clean the bathroom?”
Me: “Why don’t you use rags to clean the bathroom?”

I could give SOOOOOO many more examples. When situations like this come up, once we realize what’s going on, we just look at each other and say “cultural difference”. We literally say this out loud. Most of the time, if it’s not something of mountain-sized importance to us, we just shrug our shoulders and it stays there. I love this about our relationship.


  1. The only cross-cultural difference about the pillows is the male/female difference. I am 100% in agreement with him.

    1. And some would argue that every male/female relationship is cross-cultural!

  2. And I agree with Marie about the pillows!!